Saturday, September 17, 2005
i'm like half asleep now while typing this..
just realised something, i didnt watch tv for 3 days already. first time at home didnt watch tv for 3 days. had been studying studying studying.. writing notes notes notes.. my table is just so messy with pens n papers lying around. prelims is next week n i'm so damn nervous about it. i scared i couldnt score well. i will do worse for O's if i cant even get past prelims. worried sick. i wanna study late into the night, wanna finish what im supposed to learn finish for that day but i can't seem to do it. i will fall asleep halfway, eyes feeling pain.
was kinda mad with brenda. we were to supposed to meet to study since yesterday, but she kept being busy with ah hock. yesterday, she supposed to meet me in the early evening to study as she's going ah hock's house to teach his sister, in the end, she changed it to 7pm. by the time we study we finish studying, its gonna be 9.30pm, moreover im travelling down from toa payoh central to ang mo kio central, not say very near, take half hour ride of bus. then never mind, she said today should be okay. so i asked her again, she said, she's going somewhere, dont know what time she can make it, so i rather dont meet already. people do change in certain ways when they're attached. =/ *signs* guess i gotta study on my own then.
nobody seems to have time for me or accompany me, regardless of whether are they attached or not. =/ this is one really bad thing about being the only child. parents are usually busy working n stuffs. nobody to talk to much as most are busy. why people dont appreciate their siblings when there're some who really want to have? they will only cherish their siblings when they're gone. i dont get it why. my friends are always complaining about quarreling with their siblings, snatching the toilet, not returning stuffs, etc. this way, at least the house is filled with noises. unlike my house, when parents are working or out, open the house door, its dark n empty. my neighbour's kids are like screaming n shouting away at home. from morning to night, they're always noisy. whatever happens, im always the one getting scolded no matter is it am i the culprit or not. whatever happens, i'm always getting the blame. when i deny it, they scolded me for arguing n being defiant. my parents too said that, a pass for my exams they're satisfied, but when i got a pass, they scolded me for getting so low..
i'm feeling so stressful.. studies.. parents.. i feel that nobody understands me.. nobody's there to be my listening ear when i need them.. ='(
tears.
| 1:35 PM |
KISSED.
