Friday, September 09, 2005
just began to realise that nearly everybody around me is getting attached one by one. got this couple from school, (sorry,cant reveal who) the girl used to hate me a lot back in secondary one, n she likes this guy from our class. she used to be so crazy about him, but then now, she's together with him already. fortunate eh? my pal too, liked this guy for two years, n is finally with him, but broke up after that. another pal, broke up already, but patched later cos the guy can feel like she still like him, give the relationship another chance. girls always like that guy for a long time, the guys knows, n they would be together after a while. for me, its a different case. the guy never knows. he can never get what i am trying to say. after then, he would be attached already. all i can do, is just to give him n the girl my blessings.
many always say, 'we cannot force love', i know that too. that's why a lot of things, i'm trying to look on the bright side. but sometimes, looking on the bright side can be deceiving yourself from the cruel reality. so sometimes, i find that its no point looking on the bright side of matters.
because of ONE guy, i feel that i'm afraid to have relationship again. *signs* this has happen to my junior too. why are some guys so cruel.. so as to make us feel like this. =/
another thing i'm lack is, self-esteem. my self-esteem is so damn freaking low that it is bad for health. so many things i want to do, but i can't, due to how i look, how i present myself n obviously my size n frame. if only i have the money, i would definitely wanna go for a makeover. which lady dont wanna look pretty, wear all the nice nice clothes? which lady dont wanna be perfect? just dont like the way i am now. *signs*
had been slacking like nobody's business this few days, only studied for a while everyday. wonder what's gone into me. wonder am i not that panicky when 'O' levels prelims is like 1 week later. somebody.. please motivate me to study.. i can't study at home, too many distractions, especially this thing im using now. im such a dumbass.
just changed my blogskin yesterday, n i just LOVE it. "So what if i'm a bitch?" i was known as a bitch to somebody last time, didnt bother much. its the past already, so here i am, saying this. (: but no regardless whether im known as a bitch to anybody, i just love this blogskin. *winks-
yahoo.
going for haircut tomorrow.
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snip.
burp.
oops.
x)
| 10:36 AM |
KISSED.
