heartbreaker.

Friday, April 28, 2006

school has been great all these while. spending time with my classmates everyday hanging out at different canteens, studying at library or using the CMS at e-plaza really makes time pass real fast everyday at school. with people like Vivian, Kellyn n Ramri n many more around, breaktime is filled with laughter n jokes. im coping quite well with the loss of him, that doesnt mean im not sad losing him, i do miss him, but there is nothing i could do. all i could do is just wait, but if he fell for another girl, i will give him my blessings. as long as he is happy, i wont ask for more. i will let him go, i wont hold on so tightly anymore like last time. that would cause me more agony. n with more agony, it will affect me a lot in everything, from my studies to everyday life. still can remember my grades drop drastically, i was so distracted that i couldnt concentrate during lessons, no appetite, etc. actually till today, questions about our breakup is still stuck in my head. no problems surfaced between us, why did he initiated it? did i do any wrong that made him to have that decision? whenever we quarrel, we will tell each other what we are not happy about, n talk about it.

a lot of things i do really make me remind me of him. i couldnt bear delete the photos which we took together, the very first photo we took together during the Eve of Chinese New Year at the MRT station at Chinatown, it was 11.15pm then. the second photo we took together was during our first anniversary, at the Resident Corner behind my house at 4pm. the third photo we took together was the day before he officially started working then, also at the Resider Corner. the last time i saw him before we broke up was the time where Liyi help me settle the misunderstanding between us. the last time i met him again was last Friday when i went to Bukit Batok to meet Liyi for dinner. he was there, i darent talk to him as i wanted so much to. i wanted to hold his hand again so much, but i know i cant do that. whenever we have eye contact, we would turn away. i still can remember a lot of things which he used to tell me. like when i got an infection on my butt, he said if my parents allow me to get a bf, he will come down everyday after school to accompany me. n after i recover, he will bring me out. although he dint, but i know he said all those to make me feel better from the pain im feeling at that time. he really dotes on me. he even talks about kids n parents staying where if we got married. Hock said that we wouldnt last long, but he says that we will last till marriage, its impossible now anyway. we share the common interest too. cars, bikes, food... we even like the same car, same colours, same foods n even the same songs/bands. he always said,"i never had a mixed blood gf before, i feel so lucky to have you." bad omen appeared on tuesday while i was waiting for Kellyn at YCK MRT station. the plush toy dice which he gave me was attached to the strap of my hp pouch, broke off n dropped on the floor without me knowing before a lady came up to me n gave it to me. am i thinking too much or is it an coincidence? cos that thing got stuck in between my shoulder n bag before i pulled it out with force.

no matter what,
i still miss him loads.
if he's happy being single,
i will let him go.
if he fell for another girl,
i will give him my blessings.
as long as he's happy,
i wont ask for more.

| 10:08 PM |

KISSED.