heartbreaker.

Friday, October 27, 2006

i guess things between him & his "chang er" are going on pretty well i supposed? we dont really chat online anymore & neither do we talk to each other face-to-face much anymore. as jealousy does eats up bits of me here & there, happiness do exist somewhere too as im happy for him as he's getting to be with somebody whom he may always wanted to be with. things seems to be like how it used to be when we first knew each other: the unfamiliarness, the no-topic-kind of talk & so many things more. i thought he was just "pure eye candy", i never thought that this would happen but since it HAS already happened, i cant do anything either but just to let nature takes its own course. it feels horrible, very horrible.

15 more days to race & im feeling pretty nervous about it. although my name is in the list of names of those who're down for the race, i dont want to be the one who is the reserved. okay, i dont mind being a supporter but... i dont know, having mixed feelings. i worry that i might not be able to make it during the race cos im not able to control my breathing that well yet, & when the team start going fast strokes, i tend not to twist my body hence may make the boat stagnant instead of forward. so many things kept going through my mind..

training yesterday was pretty much of fun cos was actually joking & talking rubbish with the seniors & other team mates. & like what nurul mentioned, KEL LAUGHED FOR NO APPARENT REASON. i guess too much of stress faced from schoolwork resulted in how she was yesterday. poor girl. *shakes head* so did air paddling, a game & sprinting on the tracks. the male species does gets me on my nerves sometimes, they dont listen, neither do they follow instructions. was pretty annoyed by that as the male species who dont really listen to what the female species are talking. sprinting on tracks was pretty OKAY, but sprinting 400m & 200m was kind of killing me. sprinting 100m isnt so bad, was able to push myself more compared to the other sprinting distance. i dint know sprinting DOES makes our lungs EXPAND MORE.

my parents havent been talking to each other for the past 4 days already. it really pains me seeing them like this, their relationship has been really good except for a few tiffs here & there but it never got so serious where the both of them dont talk to each other for more than a day. my parents will never be at the same place in the house at the same time & that includes having meals. we used to have dinner together but it never happen for the past 4 days, my mom used to tag along with my dad whenever he makes deliveries but it also dint happen for the past 4 days. my dad had been coming home late, usually after my mom has slept which is around 1am. my parents act as if nothing had happened & i know they're trying hard to keep it that way so as not to let me know anything. i want everything to be over soon... i just want all the bad things to go away & never come back again...

"dreams disappear as reality crashed to the floor.."

| 6:38 PM |

KISSED.